Feeling like a sissy...

....but decided not to do a reduction this week. A unanimous decision because it is time for a breather.

Dilemma

So tomorrow I see Jerry and we decide about another reduction...down to .375mg! But I leave on Sunday for a week with Patty at Lake Michigan. Do I do the reduction and figure that I can't feel miserable for long in one of my favorite places? Or do I take a week off of this reduction regiman? Thinking, thinking....

I'm irritable

'Nuff said.

Shopping

Not a good idea to go to the mall at this point in time. Didn't know that until I went to the mall. Not a fun trip.

I do not like evenings

I feel pretty good all day but once evening comes and I start to ache and my stomach hurts and I feel anxious, all of those things fall like a ton of bricks. I would not be so dramatic but right now it is evening and so everything is multiplied and Drama is my middle name.

We had a great time with Sam and Gail...besides really liking them (that goes without saying!), I'm starting to really like Cincinnati. Interesting and beautiful place.

Kate and I had a scrap-and-crab party this afternoon. Then we'd remember our resolution not to crab and just scrap for awhile. Maybe this is a side effect and part of the irritability but I am definitely having trouble letting go of things that seem unfair, wrong, unjust or just plain stupid. It doesn't matter if these things are beyond my control, I still seem to need to chew on them and chew on them and then chew some more. Relax Meg, relax!

Down to .5mg

I saw Jerry yesterday and we decided to keep moving down....my dosage is now only .5mg and that is a tiny amount! He said that I am doing well and I beamed. So now I am starting a new regime of taking one of these pills only 4 times daily instead of 5 times daily. Exciting but scary.

I showed him a tiny but lethal looking bite on my ankle and he said "Oh!" or "Oh...." or "Oooh!" or "Oooh...." Stew and I can't quite agree on the inflection. I took it to mean shock, horror and concern, Stew thought it showed mild clinical interest. Either way, I have what is probably a spider bite, in itself absolutely horrifying. I need cream to 1. stop the spread of venom throughout my system (Meg) or 2. make it feel better (Stew). I also had to get a prescription for an antibiotic in case it gets more infected. I'm checking it every 10 minutes or so to be sure I get right on it when it goes septic.

We are having fun with Sam and Gail...big day planned with working on the kitchen cupboards, a trip to Ikea, sewing pillows, eating, and hopefully time for a mother-son swim.

Oh dear

Remember the fellow I plowed down in the pool? The next time I saw him, I looked more closely and with a gentler eye and it was obvious that he has had a stroke. He probably never even saw me because one side of his face, when I looked with my gentler eye, was involved. Also the arm on that side. Oh dear....

I decided that I can't make amends to him directly because that would make too big a deal out of this and possibly scare him out of the water for the rest of his days. After all, he probably thinks it was an accident instead of a hit-and-run. So my amends are to remember this incident and to keep in the forefront of my mind that: 1. My snap judgements are likely to be wrong 2. Even if it feels like a big deal, it probably isn't 3. Kindness matters and I want to be kind (even when going through withdrawal).

Kindness and patience are becoming a bit harder as I take away that chemical and adjust but I can do this! Today I see Jerry again and hopefully move down another notch. Then Stew and I head out to spend a couple of funfilled days with Sam and Gail in Cincinnati.